Board Thread:News and Announcements/@comment-37166874-20181116193514/@comment-35990897-20181117183521

TheRealMystic wrote:
 * sigh*

Hello everyone

It's been a while

And I've missed you all. </3 I'm considering returning to the wiki?.. But I'm unsure. I feel like after I left the wiki, and pretty much disappeared from Prodigy and Kart Kingdom, I was basically forgotten.

And honestly, the whole situation with Vanity has made me pretty much drown in guilt. If I had never even spoken to him on CCC that one day...none of this would've happened.

I tried so hard to keep him from coming here... and I failed. And it put you all through so much hell. And it was my fault. I'm, so, so, so, so sorry... I can't ever put my feelings into words.

I feel so bad for disappearing from you guys' lives. But I know I'm not missed as much as I was told I would be... Especially considering you guys never talked about me. I know this because every now and then, I would come online logged out and see nobody talked about me at all.

What's the use of a heart when your heart gets broken?

What's the use of a soul when your soul gets stolen?

What's the use of speech when you never speak to me?

So here I lay crying on the floor,

"I loved you and I still do...."

But you go and forget my feelings for you...

And it hurts so much. But I still feel the hole in my heart every time I log on, to see you all here and not be able to speak to you, because of the things I said I would and wouldn't do..

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Sugar is sweet

And so are you

But the roses have wilted

And the violets are dead

The sugarbowl's empty

And my wrists are stained red...

I've done so many things I shouldn't have..

And leaving might have been one of them?

But I'm sure it doesn't matter to anyone at all that all the time I didn't speak to any of you I was laid on my bed reading old comments and threads as the tears slid down my cheeks and I was crying for you all silently..

The only thing I was afraid of was from my life, losing you

The day you walked away, all my fears came true

I don't know where to go

In loneliness, I'm suffocating

As I ponder over what lies ahead

Even then, the silence is deafening

I hope that if I end up staying..

You all will accept me.

For what I am and what I am not.

Feeling down? Put your hand to your heart.

You feel that? That's called purpose. Do what you feel you must do. Courage, confidence, and honesty are key.